Looking Back

I am doing work experience at the moment. I am taking care of children aged 5-9 and its crazy but i love it, Its so weird because i am back to where i went to primary school. The same teachers, the same smell, its all the same, except the fact that i am not the one sat on the carpet trying my best to be the one that is sitting the nicest. :L That was all we did was learn things we thought was fun and try and impress the teacher, which i must say was the best at, My teacher was the best and i loved her, i still do,
she made me like school. I only spent 2 years in her class but they were the only memories i really think of when i look back, I miss the school, i miss the naivety of it all, the biggest problem was choosing what colour to use, and the biggest decision i had to make was who i played with, its kinda funny. But now i have so many problems and so much decisions to make. It wasn't all Rosie thought, i did have a lot of hard times there when i hated it,But i got by because i had this teacher who would be there for me if i was upset or wanted to talk. She was there, and she was the person who hugged me everyday and that is something i miss a lot as well. I have people i am close to now and i love them to pieces i really do, but it feels like i am forcing it on them whereas when i was little i didn't make the first move she did and i didn't really care about anything but now i worry about the fact that i am close to a TA who is probably not allowed to carry on our relationship when we have left, because i would love to, but that's another thing that i don't have control over.

I have slightly lead of track :)
But yeah today one of the Ta's said she was in the playground and a little hand just slipped into hers and that made me think really hard because i used to do that, i would just go up to one of them and slip my hand in, and they would look down at me with a big smiley face, i miss that :) It makes me all fuzzy inside because i remember so well how i loved everyone except one teacher, and i generally liked all the teachers. But now i am a stroppy teenager who hates everyone that try's and makes me do "WORK"like it is a chore or optional, but this experience has taught me that i love kids and i love being part of a team, and it also has taught me that i need "Them 2" a lot and i am going to have to start loosing grip a little because i have to let go a little bit sometimes. Anyways i am going to get a visit of one of them soon and hopefully have a little chat because i haven't had a moan to anybody in ages, kind of annoying, but i can't wait.

Off to Youth Club :) x